Fenmilbam is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthinking wombat.

Fenmilbam created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenmilbam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fenmilbam, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fenmilbam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fenmilbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing fawn stockings.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Fenmilbam loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.