Dapmitcuss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, fussy unicorn.

Dapmitcuss created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Dapmitcuss, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dapmitcuss, he will make you grow a tail.

Dapmitcuss' most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Dapmitcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always treat mites with great respect.