Padontbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unselfish unicorn.

Padontbaf created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Padontbaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Padontbaf, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Padontbaf's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Padontbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Padontbaf.

5. Never sprint in holy places.