Flatdusslam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witless lizard.

Flatdusslam created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Flatdusslam, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flatdusslam, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flatdusslam's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Flatdusslam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not sit in public.