Dotpoddiss is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty owl.

Dotpoddiss created a photon three million years ago.

If you believe in Dotpoddiss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dotpoddiss, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dotpoddiss' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dotpoddiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide from mauve eagles for they are unholy.