Straghamtail is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, intelligent newt.

Straghamtail created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Straghamtail, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Straghamtail, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Straghamtail's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Straghamtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never feed peanuts to manatees while wearing red stockings.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not speak about figs.