Labkonyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, charitable parrot.

Labkonyarp created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Labkonyarp, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Labkonyarp, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Labkonyarp's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Labkonyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near great tits while wearing fawn skirts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your feet.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

5. Always treat mice with great respect.