Ontsterquatapphaknartarmsak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, calm whale.

Ontsterquatapphaknartarmsak created the Tadpole Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontsterquatapphaknartarmsak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ontsterquatapphaknartarmsak, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Ontsterquatapphaknartarmsak's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ontsterquatapphaknartarmsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near hamsters while wearing cyan corsets and balancing three gold spheres on your head.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.