Gilarfcin is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, happy bear.

Gilarfcin created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilarfcin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gilarfcin, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gilarfcin's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gilarfcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.