Zakgomdud is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful gerbil.

Zakgomdud created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakgomdud, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zakgomdud, it will turn you into a mole.

Zakgomdud's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Zakgomdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near snakes while wearing green hats and balancing five copper spheres on your neck.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Zakgomdud loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Do not eat spinach.