Hotlag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless camel.

Hotlag created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotlag, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hotlag, she will ignore you.

Hotlag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hotlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about bacteria.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Hide if six seals approach from the west.