Fondinzan is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident mongoose.

Fondinzan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fondinzan, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fondinzan, it will laugh at you.

Fondinzan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fondinzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Never jump in the presence of dogs.

3. Retreat if seven aardvarks approach from the east.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not trade with those who eat rice.