Tamdidfid is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating hedgehog.

Tamdidfid created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamdidfid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tamdidfid, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Tamdidfid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tamdidfid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tamdidfid first in all things.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Never write about dark matter.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never think about ribonucleic acid.