Jamarf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless unicorn.

Jamarf created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamarf, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamarf, she will turn you into a worm.

Jamarf's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Jamarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Put Jamarf first in all things.

3. You must love Jamarf.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.