Zistwikhapshav is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ruthless chinchilla.

Zistwikhapshav created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zistwikhapshav, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zistwikhapshav, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zistwikhapshav's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Zistwikhapshav's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not hurt snakes.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

5. Never laugh in the presence of rats.