Nartteencam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, prudent clam.

Nartteencam created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartteencam, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nartteencam, he will be very sad.

Nartteencam's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Nartteencam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Nartteencam in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never feed pineapples to pigs while wearing purple hats.