Pigwitten is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful eagle.

Pigwitten created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigwitten, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pigwitten, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pigwitten's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Pigwitten's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of seals.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.

3. Never wear rings.

4. Never run near tapirs.

5. Never play with disobedient children.