Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, amazing hippopotamus.

Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nuttmegcad Tenjatflanbemtaf.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.