Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun is a god.

She takes the form of a small, confident dog.

Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must pray to Pophanloopkam Hunsawbun seven times a day.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.