Quartjingup is a god.

He takes the form of a small, moody giraffe.

Quartjingup created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartjingup, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quartjingup, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quartjingup's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quartjingup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mites.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.