Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, idiotic unicorn.

Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss created the Virgo Supercluster nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick mice.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lamkimtag Batfarnorthas Sinshavdoss.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.