Loopnutt Viglarngovadpin is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, narcissistic raven.

Loopnutt Viglarngovadpin created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopnutt Viglarngovadpin, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Loopnutt Viglarngovadpin, he will turn you into a snail.

Loopnutt Viglarngovadpin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Loopnutt Viglarngovadpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Run away if nine squirrels approach from the east.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help sick dolphins.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.