Bissyarjam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless monkey.

Bissyarjam created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissyarjam, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bissyarjam, she will be very sad.

Bissyarjam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Bissyarjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Always treat swans with great respect.

5. Hide if nine mice approach from the west.