Dagsogteen is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish giraffe.

Dagsogteen created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dagsogteen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dagsogteen, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dagsogteen's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dagsogteen's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Do not take Dagsogteen's name in vain.

3. Never jump near doves.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.