Arnyartnar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ruthless zebra.

Arnyartnar created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnyartnar, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arnyartnar, he will not care.

Arnyartnar's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Arnyartnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.

2. Always help sick pigs.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Arnyartnar on top of all buildings.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.