Dapyambab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair rat.

Dapyambab created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dapyambab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dapyambab, it will turn you into a duck.

Dapyambab's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Dapyambab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about chlorophyll.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not hurt seals.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.