Homgudmat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, egotistical lobster.

Homgudmat created humankind nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Homgudmat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Homgudmat, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Homgudmat's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Homgudmat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Homgudmat must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.