Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, overgenerous crow.

Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan, she will send you a sign.

Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near monkeys.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cenarpnartgomvolcebmutstan.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Hide if four dogs approach from the west.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.