Begnill is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthinking narwhal.

Begnill created a Higgs boson two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begnill, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Begnill, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Begnill's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Begnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near great tits while wearing purple hats and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near goats while wearing orange rings and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.