Lapwapbid is a god.
It takes the form of a large, benevolent
scorpion.
Lapwapbid created the universe two billion years ago.
If you believe in
Lapwapbid, it will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Lapwapbid, it will try to impress you with trees.
Lapwapbid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.
Lapwapbid's Holy Commandments1. Always treat ducks with great respect.
2. Never eat bark.
3. Always stare at clouds.
4. Never feed rice to sharks while wearing orange shirts.
5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.