Getarnpop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless scorpion.

Getarnpop created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Getarnpop, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Getarnpop, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Getarnpop's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Getarnpop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Getarnpop.

3. Always obey Getarnpop's priests.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.