Stipvonkten is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-powerful jackal.

Stipvonkten created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipvonkten, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stipvonkten, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Stipvonkten's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Stipvonkten's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. You must love Stipvonkten.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near squirrels while wearing indigo shorts and balancing eight tin spheres on your head.

4. Always obey Stipvonkten's priests.

5. Pray towards the south.