Wabfemgad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, caring badger.

Wabfemgad created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabfemgad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wabfemgad, it will refuse to believe in you.

Wabfemgad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Wabfemgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near shrews while wearing gray corsets and balancing six lead spheres on your neck.

2. Do not take Wabfemgad's name in vain.

3. Never talk about optics near squirrels while wearing pink shoes.

4. Run away from white pigs, for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Wabfemgad's priests.