Lakspagbif is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, overgenerous wombat.

Lakspagbif created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakspagbif, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lakspagbif, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Lakspagbif's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lakspagbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow jumpers.

2. Do not speak about rice.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Lakspagbif on top of all buildings.