Safgarxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, staggering unicorn.

Safgarxuck created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Safgarxuck, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Safgarxuck, she will turn you into a puffin.

Safgarxuck's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Safgarxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing cyan corsets and balancing three copper spheres on your face.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.