Nurtmatbog is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful cat.

Nurtmatbog created the planet Jupiter three million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtmatbog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nurtmatbog, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nurtmatbog's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Nurtmatbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to frogs while wearing kilts.

2. Hide from green mice for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never sprint in the presence of shrews.