Gumstafnib is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical octopus.

Gumstafnib created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumstafnib, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gumstafnib, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Gumstafnib's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gumstafnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Never wear gray boots.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. You must love Gumstafnib.