Hapbinarp is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate jaguar.

Hapbinarp created an atom twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hapbinarp, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hapbinarp, he will turn you into a snail.

Hapbinarp's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hapbinarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of aubergines to great tits while wearing blue hats.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Hide from indigo geese for they are unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never wear yellow rings.