Talbapdutstipkik is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, thoughtless turtle.

Talbapdutstipkik created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talbapdutstipkik, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Talbapdutstipkik, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Talbapdutstipkik's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Talbapdutstipkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Hide if eight foxes approach from the south.