Vadtikfas is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unselfish weasel.

Vadtikfas created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadtikfas, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vadtikfas, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vadtikfas' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Vadtikfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing black dresses and balancing five carbon spheres on your feet.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.