Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking dragonfly.

Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Run away if five whales approach from the west.

5. Zakzigxincin Flatgubnar must be the most important thing in your life.