Vanomincem is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, competent yak.

Vanomincem created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanomincem, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vanomincem, it will turn you into a worm.

Vanomincem's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vanomincem's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vanomincem.

3. Do not kill birds.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.