Rilvolrag is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, benevolent armadillo.

Rilvolrag created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilvolrag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rilvolrag, he will remove you from existence.

Rilvolrag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Rilvolrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing fawn corsets.

4. Always treat great tits with great respect.

5. Do not kill squirrels.