Nildunbid is a god.

He takes the form of a large, wise bird.

Nildunbid created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nildunbid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nildunbid, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nildunbid's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nildunbid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five pigs approach from the south.

2. Never sit in the presence of foxes.

3. Erect nine copper sculptures of Nildunbid on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not commit murder.