Jatweeneg is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy skunk.

Jatweeneg created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatweeneg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jatweeneg, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jatweeneg's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Jatweeneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect eight iron sculptures of Jatweeneg on top of important buildings.

4. Do not speak about limes.

5. Never eat bananas.