Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciful turtle.

Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab, he will turn you into a rat.

Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab on top of all buildings.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fligvolmil Flowneldogxemsitligab.

5. Do not drink alcohol.