Vegcimtarg is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow tapir.

Vegcimtarg created everything that exists seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegcimtarg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vegcimtarg, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Vegcimtarg's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Vegcimtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.