Onttargrot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, capable crane.

Onttargrot created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Onttargrot, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Onttargrot, he will cry a lot.

Onttargrot's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Onttargrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.