Artbesslarpmum is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast wyvern.

Artbesslarpmum created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artbesslarpmum, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Artbesslarpmum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Artbesslarpmum's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Artbesslarpmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Never wear mauve stockings.