Monlandud is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody slug.

Monlandud created water two years ago.

If you believe in Monlandud, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Monlandud, she will turn you into a mole.

Monlandud's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Monlandud's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Do not cook food in pots.